I heard I dropped the ball again
Loyalty slipped thru the crack
I can't seem to move
I let her down
Sorry little sister
When can I do it right
A chill creeps up my spine
Head gets fuzzy
The feeling of empty
I thought I could just go ahead
Nobody told me I was selfish
I can't seem to move
Where did I get off
Sorry I forgot you
When can I do it right
A chill creeps up my spine
Head gets fuzzy
The feeling of empty
You said, I think I can't get back
Where we were when we were there
I can't seem to move
I'll recoil now
Sorry for what I did
When can I do it right
A chill creeps up my spine
Head gets fuzzy
That familiar feeling
The feeling of empty
I apologize for the person I've been
The same me that I've pushed away
I can't seem to move ahead
Wish I was someone else
Sorry doesn't cut it
When can I do it right
A chill creeps up my spine
Head gets fuzzy
Wish I could say it'll be fine
My old man seems so close
I'm sorry for who I've been
by: Drew
written: March 30th, 2006
(#67)
This was written after I realized that I had left a friend out in the cold for a while. I'd gotten to caught up in my new job and other things that I basically abandoned them. I have patterns in my life. Now I'm recoiling back into myself. I just kind of shut the outside out because I can't seem to "get things right." I dunno how long this will last. Why can't I just runn away from the old me?
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Where is the Connection
Where is that connection
Between word n action
I can say it all I want
But doing it seems to be so hard
Words without action
Add up to a subtraction
Who would even listen
To someone who acts that way
Do what I don wanna do
Say... what I don wanna say
Don't do what I wanna do
Don't say... what I wanna to say
Over and over
Where is the connection
If I could only do a fraction
Of all the things needing action
I'd be more at ease
With myself n my conscience
Do what I don wanna do
Say... what I don wanna say
Don't do what I wanna do
Don't say... what I wanna to say
Over and over
Where is the connection
Connection lies within decision
Breaking down that old division
Between my heart
And my scattered mind
Who knew today I'd find
Release from my disconnection
Seems ironic
To be disconnected from disconnection
But it makes sense
If you don't think too much...
by: Drew
written: March 30th, 2006
(#66)
Release is sweet, especially when it's long awaited. There's been a division in my decision making of late... but that is changing. My mind and heart would say one thing, and I'd move in a different direction than I knew was right. You ask me, why the heck would you do that? Well, because I trust myself too much sometimes. Letting go of me was all I needed to do...
Between word n action
I can say it all I want
But doing it seems to be so hard
Do what I don wanna do
Say... what I don wanna say
Don't do what I wanna do
Don't say... what I wanna to say
Over and over
Where is the connection
Words without action
Add up to a subtraction
Who would even listen
To someone who acts that way
Do what I don wanna do
Say... what I don wanna say
Don't do what I wanna do
Don't say... what I wanna to say
Over and over
Where is the connection
If I could only do a fraction
Of all the things needing action
I'd be more at ease
With myself n my conscience
Do what I don wanna do
Say... what I don wanna say
Don't do what I wanna do
Don't say... what I wanna to say
Over and over
Where is the connection
Connection lies within decision
Breaking down that old division
Between my heart
And my scattered mind
Who knew today I'd find
Release from my disconnection
Seems ironic
To be disconnected from disconnection
But it makes sense
If you don't think too much...
by: Drew
written: March 30th, 2006
(#66)
Release is sweet, especially when it's long awaited. There's been a division in my decision making of late... but that is changing. My mind and heart would say one thing, and I'd move in a different direction than I knew was right. You ask me, why the heck would you do that? Well, because I trust myself too much sometimes. Letting go of me was all I needed to do...
Runn
Am I awake or not
I can't even tell
It's funny
Asleep is how I sometimes feel
Haze covers these eyes
Advice I try not to despise
Ignore lies
Direction is all I need
I know how to runn
Just need to know from where
To get there
When I wake
From what I was under
The light is blinding my eyes
Whines can turn to cries
If I really try
Direction is all I need
I know how to runn
Just need to know from where
To get there
Locked up
Behind this old door I made
Bad habits cover my eyes
If I stop fighting n try
Stop asking why
Direction is all I need
I know how to runn
Just need to know from where
To get there
There can be here
Be who I wanna be
Runn, wake up
Runn from me
Runn to You
by: Dre3
written: March 29th, 2006
(#65)
Runn with an extra n was to emphasize my need for this... Sometimes I fell like I'm just walking when I should be running from something or towards somthing. This is definitely metaphorically. Why, when I recognize that something isn't good for me, do I just remain calm and not runn? Also, when something is GOOD, I should be running after it with zero hesitance!!
I can't even tell
It's funny
Asleep is how I sometimes feel
Haze covers these eyes
Advice I try not to despise
Ignore lies
Direction is all I need
I know how to runn
Just need to know from where
To get there
When I wake
From what I was under
The light is blinding my eyes
Whines can turn to cries
If I really try
Direction is all I need
I know how to runn
Just need to know from where
To get there
Locked up
Behind this old door I made
Bad habits cover my eyes
If I stop fighting n try
Stop asking why
Direction is all I need
I know how to runn
Just need to know from where
To get there
There can be here
Be who I wanna be
Runn, wake up
Runn from me
Runn to You
by: Dre3
written: March 29th, 2006
(#65)
Runn with an extra n was to emphasize my need for this... Sometimes I fell like I'm just walking when I should be running from something or towards somthing. This is definitely metaphorically. Why, when I recognize that something isn't good for me, do I just remain calm and not runn? Also, when something is GOOD, I should be running after it with zero hesitance!!
Dreams... where is Reality
Could have beens
End up being should have beens
That's not the way it works
Dreams with no reality
Just make me sad
I'll tell you
Dreams dictate my questions
Fall too fast
I should fight the past
Patience
Not just for doctors
Could have beens
End up being should have beens
That's not the way it works
Dreams with no reality
Just make me sad
I tell myself
Becoming cold ain't that bad
Close my door
Build a wall seems to ensure
Loneliness
Not just for a Ranger n Tonto
Could have beens
End up being should have beens
That's not the way it works
Dreams with no reality
Just make me sad
You tell me
The love I've dreamed of
Drops my defenses
I should pull down my walls n fences
Surrender
Is not just for losers
I can't let it happen again
This is no way to live my life
Vulnerability makes me so I can be hurt
But it's worth the risk
It's better than alone
I dream in color now
Real with a hint of red...
by: Drew
written: March 29th, 2006
(#64)
Don't wanna stay untouched. I do want to learn from my mistakes, but I don't wanna shut myself off from everyone in defense of my heart. I don't wanna fall in love again without marrying her...
End up being should have beens
That's not the way it works
Dreams with no reality
Just make me sad
I'll tell you
Dreams dictate my questions
Fall too fast
I should fight the past
Patience
Not just for doctors
Could have beens
End up being should have beens
That's not the way it works
Dreams with no reality
Just make me sad
I tell myself
Becoming cold ain't that bad
Close my door
Build a wall seems to ensure
Loneliness
Not just for a Ranger n Tonto
Could have beens
End up being should have beens
That's not the way it works
Dreams with no reality
Just make me sad
You tell me
The love I've dreamed of
Drops my defenses
I should pull down my walls n fences
Surrender
Is not just for losers
I can't let it happen again
This is no way to live my life
Vulnerability makes me so I can be hurt
But it's worth the risk
It's better than alone
I dream in color now
Real with a hint of red...
by: Drew
written: March 29th, 2006
(#64)
Don't wanna stay untouched. I do want to learn from my mistakes, but I don't wanna shut myself off from everyone in defense of my heart. I don't wanna fall in love again without marrying her...
Hurts to Hurt You
Just remember
When the world fades
It's beautiful to see little things
Outside ourself
Today I'll trust you with what I say
I pray that you can please understand
I know it's gonna kill
I'm sorry
But please remember
This pain that's so close now
Is far better than drawn till November
Ripping out your heart
Today I'll trust you with what I say
I pray that you can please understand
I know it's gonna kill
I'm sorry
It hurts me
That I have to hurt you
Usually when I remember
I'm reminded of the bad n not good
Just wanna be real, not a pretender
Which is why I say
Today I'll trust you with what I say
I pray that you can please understand
I know it's gonna kill
I'm sorry
It hurts me
That I have to hurt you
Voice deep inside
Whispers
I'm sorry, to be loving
I have to say no,
I'm sorry
Please understand
by: Drew
written: March 29th, 2006
(#63)
You know who you are...
When the world fades
It's beautiful to see little things
Outside ourself
Today I'll trust you with what I say
I pray that you can please understand
I know it's gonna kill
I'm sorry
But please remember
This pain that's so close now
Is far better than drawn till November
Ripping out your heart
Today I'll trust you with what I say
I pray that you can please understand
I know it's gonna kill
I'm sorry
It hurts me
That I have to hurt you
Usually when I remember
I'm reminded of the bad n not good
Just wanna be real, not a pretender
Which is why I say
Today I'll trust you with what I say
I pray that you can please understand
I know it's gonna kill
I'm sorry
It hurts me
That I have to hurt you
Voice deep inside
Whispers
I'm sorry, to be loving
I have to say no,
I'm sorry
Please understand
by: Drew
written: March 29th, 2006
(#63)
You know who you are...
Monday, March 27, 2006
To Pieces
Oh Lord
When I feel lame
And can't stand
Help me lift up
Just one hand
To pieces is where
I find peace
I won't fight with you
Anymore
Oh Lord
When I look away
And can't see
Help me open
Just one eye
To pieces is where
I find peace
I won't fight with you
Anymore
Oh Lord
When I can't fell
And can't sense a thing
Help me touch
Just one heart
To pieces is where
I find peace
I won't fight with you
Anymore
Oh Lord
When I'm bent
And can't move at all
Help me to break
All that's of me
To pieces is where
I find peace
I won't fight with you
Anymore
Oh Lord
When I'm done with myself
And can't continue being me
Help me to praise you
Because you're still good
To pieces is where
I find peace
I won't fight with you
Anymore
Oh Lord
I'm desperate for you
Make these hands clean
And change this heart
I'm beat up and broken
But you're still good
And I can know this
Till the world caves in
by: Drew
written: March 27th, 2006
(#62)
A prayer to the Lord...
When I feel lame
And can't stand
Help me lift up
Just one hand
To pieces is where
I find peace
I won't fight with you
Anymore
Oh Lord
When I look away
And can't see
Help me open
Just one eye
To pieces is where
I find peace
I won't fight with you
Anymore
Oh Lord
When I can't fell
And can't sense a thing
Help me touch
Just one heart
To pieces is where
I find peace
I won't fight with you
Anymore
Oh Lord
When I'm bent
And can't move at all
Help me to break
All that's of me
To pieces is where
I find peace
I won't fight with you
Anymore
Oh Lord
When I'm done with myself
And can't continue being me
Help me to praise you
Because you're still good
To pieces is where
I find peace
I won't fight with you
Anymore
Oh Lord
I'm desperate for you
Make these hands clean
And change this heart
I'm beat up and broken
But you're still good
And I can know this
Till the world caves in
by: Drew
written: March 27th, 2006
(#62)
A prayer to the Lord...
Whisper
I found me talking to myself
Just the other day
UnNerved by what I told me
Sometimes I ignore me
Who are you
N who do you wanna be?
I know we're best friends
But you need some change
Is it stange that I talk to me
Desperation is defined
Would do almost anthing
Just so see a change
Who are you
N who do you wanna be?
I know we're best friends
But you need some change
Don't leave me like this
I tell me, n then say
If you know what it is
Then why would you go back
Who are you
N who do you wanna be?
I know we're best friends
But you need some change
I want more than my lonely state
I want more than gratification
I need a fall, just so
So I can rise and fall again
Who are you
N who do you wanna be?
I know we're best friends
But you need some change
I've come undone, n so I say
I lose and I'm done fighting
I can't win the argument with myself
So slow down I tell me
Hey I whisper
Just look up, there's stars
We'll talk later
So we just sat there
Hours to ourself
by: Drew n Andrew
written: March 27th, 2006
(#61)
This is a fun song about me talking to myself. I'm arguing with me about knowing that I need some change, but sometimes I just wanna ignore what I'm telling me. I don't wanna be left the way I am.
Just the other day
UnNerved by what I told me
Sometimes I ignore me
Who are you
N who do you wanna be?
I know we're best friends
But you need some change
Is it stange that I talk to me
Desperation is defined
Would do almost anthing
Just so see a change
Who are you
N who do you wanna be?
I know we're best friends
But you need some change
Don't leave me like this
I tell me, n then say
If you know what it is
Then why would you go back
Who are you
N who do you wanna be?
I know we're best friends
But you need some change
I want more than my lonely state
I want more than gratification
I need a fall, just so
So I can rise and fall again
Who are you
N who do you wanna be?
I know we're best friends
But you need some change
I've come undone, n so I say
I lose and I'm done fighting
I can't win the argument with myself
So slow down I tell me
Hey I whisper
Just look up, there's stars
We'll talk later
So we just sat there
Hours to ourself
by: Drew n Andrew
written: March 27th, 2006
(#61)
This is a fun song about me talking to myself. I'm arguing with me about knowing that I need some change, but sometimes I just wanna ignore what I'm telling me. I don't wanna be left the way I am.
Quiet but Urgent
Quiet but urgent
This voice in my head
"This is not right,
Run!"
But can I trust it
"Yes, this is not right,
RUN!!"
I've been here before
Remnants of my past
Didn't know it could last
Far past what I intended
Quiet but urgent
This voice in my head
"Please wait, you know better,
Quiet!"
But I know what I want
"No, please wait, you don't know
QUIET!!"
I'm still not enough
Never really was
Don't think I'll ever be
What I think I should be
Quiet but urgent
This voice in my head
"Be still, you're not enough,
Calm!"
But I need to do something
"No, just be still
CALM!!"
I'm resigned now
It's okay, inside
Broken isn't bad, I don't know
But that leaves room to grow
Quiet but urgent
Resigned and calm
It's okay, inside
by: Drew
written: March 27th, 2006
(#60)
Also, mostly written in the worship service and finished on the 27th. Listening to the Holy Spirit is sometimes hard, but much easier when we're resigned to the Lord and done with our own messed up and selfish heart.
This voice in my head
"This is not right,
Run!"
But can I trust it
"Yes, this is not right,
RUN!!"
I've been here before
Remnants of my past
Didn't know it could last
Far past what I intended
Quiet but urgent
This voice in my head
"Please wait, you know better,
Quiet!"
But I know what I want
"No, please wait, you don't know
QUIET!!"
I'm still not enough
Never really was
Don't think I'll ever be
What I think I should be
Quiet but urgent
This voice in my head
"Be still, you're not enough,
Calm!"
But I need to do something
"No, just be still
CALM!!"
I'm resigned now
It's okay, inside
Broken isn't bad, I don't know
But that leaves room to grow
Quiet but urgent
Resigned and calm
It's okay, inside
by: Drew
written: March 27th, 2006
(#60)
Also, mostly written in the worship service and finished on the 27th. Listening to the Holy Spirit is sometimes hard, but much easier when we're resigned to the Lord and done with our own messed up and selfish heart.
What You Are
Heavy and contented
Breathing in... breathing out
Contented deep inside
In You, Oh Lord, I confide
Love is what you are
You show us what it is
To love, without reservation
You're not waiting till
Till I have it right
Love is what you are
Clear and refreshed
Looking out... looking in
Refreshed deep inside
To you, Oh Lord, we confide
Love is what you are
You show us what it is
To love, without reservation
You're not waiting till
Till I have it right
Love is what you are
Redeemed and free
Getting up... falling down
Smiling deep inside
It's you, Oh Lord, for who we've cried
Love is what you are
You show us what it is
To love, without reservation
You're not waiting till
Till I have it right
Love is what you are
Breathing in... breathing out
In You, Oh Lord, I confide
Looking out... looking in
To you, Oh Lord, we confide
Getting up... falling down
It's you, Oh Lord, for who we've cried
Cause love is what you are...
by: Drew
written: March 19th, 2006
(#59)
Written during worship...
Breathing in... breathing out
Contented deep inside
In You, Oh Lord, I confide
Love is what you are
You show us what it is
To love, without reservation
You're not waiting till
Till I have it right
Love is what you are
Clear and refreshed
Looking out... looking in
Refreshed deep inside
To you, Oh Lord, we confide
Love is what you are
You show us what it is
To love, without reservation
You're not waiting till
Till I have it right
Love is what you are
Redeemed and free
Getting up... falling down
Smiling deep inside
It's you, Oh Lord, for who we've cried
Love is what you are
You show us what it is
To love, without reservation
You're not waiting till
Till I have it right
Love is what you are
Breathing in... breathing out
In You, Oh Lord, I confide
Looking out... looking in
To you, Oh Lord, we confide
Getting up... falling down
It's you, Oh Lord, for who we've cried
Cause love is what you are...
by: Drew
written: March 19th, 2006
(#59)
Written during worship...
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Disconnect
The only way to change I see
A disconnection from all I know
Dirt infects my cuts
So I need to get out
Why would I go back
Something I know what it is
And what it isn't
The breakdown is
I need to breakdown
Walk away
Giving up isn't in me
But it's more than I can bear
So walk away
Change is a funny thing, u see
A difference is for a reason
When something goes bad
You change it
So if it's changed, why return
A burn will only burn
And should teach
To run
U need to breakdown
Walk away
Giving up isn't in u
But it's more than u can bear
So run away to save your life
The offensive part remains
This disconnection could hurt
But it festers more
If we don't walk away
We need to breakdown
Walk away
Giving up isn't in us
But it's more than we can bear
So walk away
I'm not what I seem
Shake yourself from your dream
by: Drew
written: March 15, 2005
(#58)
Why do we do what we know (from experience) will hurt us in the long run? We're not children anymore...
A disconnection from all I know
Dirt infects my cuts
So I need to get out
Why would I go back
Something I know what it is
And what it isn't
The breakdown is
I need to breakdown
Walk away
Giving up isn't in me
But it's more than I can bear
So walk away
Change is a funny thing, u see
A difference is for a reason
When something goes bad
You change it
So if it's changed, why return
A burn will only burn
And should teach
To run
U need to breakdown
Walk away
Giving up isn't in u
But it's more than u can bear
So run away to save your life
The offensive part remains
This disconnection could hurt
But it festers more
If we don't walk away
We need to breakdown
Walk away
Giving up isn't in us
But it's more than we can bear
So walk away
I'm not what I seem
Shake yourself from your dream
by: Drew
written: March 15, 2005
(#58)
Why do we do what we know (from experience) will hurt us in the long run? We're not children anymore...
Not What I Want
Days and weeks since
I've been there,
Young comes to mind
when I stop.
Stopping long ago...
Should have done,
Could have done,
Would have done's
Never changed a thing.
Looking at her,
Makes me sing.
Wells up and drips,
From my eye.
Never wanna call it cry.
What is it inside,
Lets me so confide,
Yet walk back to
The old...
Should have done,
Could have done,
Would have done's
Never changed a thing.
Looking at her,
Makes me sing.
Wells up and drips,
From my eye.
Always feeling so dry.
After it stops,
And it sinks in,
I desperately grasp
For young...
Should have done,
Could have done,
Would have done's
Never changed a thing.
Looking at her,
Makes me sing.
Wells up and drips,
From my eye.
Whenever I pry,
There's a clearing
Of my eye
Too many superlatives
Always are...
It's not what I want
Young's not so bad
A return to innocent
Wiping of imprints
On my mind
It's not what I want
Away from Here
Won't change it
So Wake Up,
Peter
by: Drew
written: March 15th, 2006
(#57)
I haven't written in a while, but a lot has wieghed on my life...
I've been there,
Young comes to mind
when I stop.
Stopping long ago...
Should have done,
Could have done,
Would have done's
Never changed a thing.
Looking at her,
Makes me sing.
Wells up and drips,
From my eye.
Never wanna call it cry.
What is it inside,
Lets me so confide,
Yet walk back to
The old...
Should have done,
Could have done,
Would have done's
Never changed a thing.
Looking at her,
Makes me sing.
Wells up and drips,
From my eye.
Always feeling so dry.
After it stops,
And it sinks in,
I desperately grasp
For young...
Should have done,
Could have done,
Would have done's
Never changed a thing.
Looking at her,
Makes me sing.
Wells up and drips,
From my eye.
Whenever I pry,
There's a clearing
Of my eye
Too many superlatives
Always are...
It's not what I want
Young's not so bad
A return to innocent
Wiping of imprints
On my mind
It's not what I want
Away from Here
Won't change it
So Wake Up,
Peter
by: Drew
written: March 15th, 2006
(#57)
I haven't written in a while, but a lot has wieghed on my life...
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